You Are My Favorite – Rebekah’s Story
Our friends are our friends because we have things in common and enjoy spending time together, but when it comes to our children, showing favoritism is the wrongest thing you can do. No, ‘wrongest’ isn’t a real word, but it works in this case….
Rebekah’s Story
Rebekah was Isaac’s wife, Abraham and Sarah’s daughter-in-law, and the mother of Jacob and Esau. She can also go down in history as one of the worst moms ever.
When she was pregnant with Jacob and Esau (twins), God told her that when the twins were born the older would serve or be in submission to the younger one.
She didn’t know how this would come about or why God would say something like this, but when her boys were born Esau was born first and was a very hairy baby.
Jacob was born last and came out of the womb with his hand holding onto his brother’s foot. favoritism toward the son they loved the most. WOW! It’s hard just writing that much less thinking about how awful this must have been for both boys.
Any way… Rebekah is said to favor Jacob because he prefers to stay home with her. But was there more to it than that? Was it because of what God said and she wanted to make sure she was on his good side?
Was it because he favored her family in looks and/or personality? Was it because they had similar personalities? We don’t know. We only know Rebekah’s actions destroyed her family.
Not only did she have a son who had to live with the knowledge that he would never measure up in her eyes, but she strongly favored Jacob to the point of plotting to lie to her husband and to make sure her precious little Jacob got everything his brother was supposed to get (because he was the oldest).
Rebekah took the matter of doing God’s work into her own hands and made a complete and utter mess of things. She made sure her favorite child got more than he deserved and that he obtained the position of prominence in the family SO THAT the older would have to serve the younger.
Oh; Rebekah, shame on you.
Lessons We Can Learn From Rebekah
Rebekah is one messed up mom. She could easily be the spokeswoman of the “Here’s What NOT to do When You Are a Mom”. From her we learn…
Lesson One:
Showing favoritism toward a child is wrong on every conceivable level. There is never a good reason for doing so…only really bad ones. But what is favoritism? Favoritism is…
- Making rules and guidelines that don’t apply to all of your children
- Giving one child more than you do the others in regards to time, attention, praise, money, gifts, and/or help in the way of housing, education, etc.
- Not expecting one child to do the same amount of chores as the others (age appropriately)
- Talking about one child to another child
- Extending special privileges to one child, but not the others
What favoritism is NOT is this: Every child deserves their time in the limelight. This is NOT favoritism. Favoritism is giving these times to only one child or giving more of them to one than you do the others.
This isn’t to say you cannot enjoy spending time with one of your children doing something you both enjoy, but when this is the case, you need to find common ground with the rest of your children (individually) and spend time with them, as well.
Now I know some of you may be thinking that some children excel more often than others. True. But this doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of reasons to praise those children who are shyer or less athletic or who don’t make the honor roll. As a parent, though, you should know that.
Lesson Two:
Your attitude and actions decide the dynamics of your family.
Remember that saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? It’s true. ‘Nuff said.
Lesson Three:
Children shouldn’t come between you and your husband.
Rebekah was the driving force of this family catastrophe, but Jacob went along with her schemes even though he knew it was not the right thing to do. She allowed her own desires and extreme favoritism for Jacob to come between her and Isaac. She lied to and deceived her husband over and over again for the sake of her son.
When a child knows he/she has you wrapped around their little finger, they will not hesitate to pull the old divide-and-conquer technique to get what they want.
You are the parent. It’s your job to train your child to honor you and your spouse as parents AND to teach them how to treat their future spouse. Accomplishing these important tasks happens only when you present a truly united front as parents and when your children see how much you treasure your marriage.
Lesson Four:
Don’t try to do God’s work for him. God wanted Jacob to be the father of the Israelite nation. He didn’t need Rebekah’s interference. He just needed her and Isaac to raise Jacob to know and love him (God).
When you feel God’s leading or ask his guidance, remember this: Nothing in God’s plan for your life will require you to do anything ungodly.
To Sum It All Up
Showing favoritism to one of your children and putting your children before your husband is never God’s desire for a woman. God’s desire for women is that
They are fully committed and obedient to him
They make their home a Godly, happy, and safe haven for their family.