Words Hurt
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Many of us learned this little ditty as children and tried to believe it when someone said hurtful things to us.
But as this verse in James proclaims, words are powerfully dangerous.
I grew up in a household with an angry father. He could be very loving and giving and then lash out with rhetoric that sent me cringing into my room.
In his later years, I learned of his abusive childhood that, no doubt, contributed greatly to his angry words all through his life.
Even knowing and understanding why my father was so mad so much of the time didn’t lessen the sting of his words. I think I’ve cried more tears over the things he’s said to me than over anything else.
As a result of bearing the brunt of repeated verbal anger, I am very sensitive to how people talk to one another.
My daughters can testify to the strict upbringing they endured as far as how they talked to anyone.
They were not allowed to say “Shut up,” “You’re so stupid,” or a menagerie of other phrases that were related to words that had hurt me as a child.
I heard Maya Angelou, the poet and author, speak at a conference a few years ago. She draws in her audience with her soft-spoken, gracious words of wisdom. Her very manner was poetic and lyrical.
One of her examples about the use of words has stayed with me. She told the audience that she doesn’t allow people who are speaking unkindly about someone else to stay in her home.
If she hears someone speak that way, she asks him or her to leave!
She went on to explain that words, once spoken, can’t be taken back. They are out, living, and stick to the walls of the room like germs.
As I listened to her metaphor I felt as if so many of my father’s words had stuck to the walls of my soul.
They have lost much of their power, but the hurt from them has left scars.
God created us with the ability to speak. Scripture even refers to Jesus as “the Word” (John 1:1) and says (Heb. 4:12).
We have the power to be life-destroyers or life-givers with just the words we speak. It is a tremendous responsibility to take these words from James 3:6 and determine to tame our tongues.
Father, thank you for the gift of language and the healing that our words can give to others. Help us always to speak with concern for the impact our words have on others.