Don’t Mind Him – Abigail’s Story
While it is true we are called as wives to be submissive to our husbands when a husband is not a Godly man, there will most likely be times when being submissive to God will usurp the need to be submissive to our husbands. Abigail was one woman in the Bible who knew that first-hand.
Abigail’s Story
First, Samuel, chapter twenty-five is where we find the fundamental events of Abigail’s life in relation to living a godly existence.
Nabal was the husband of Abigail. Nabal is most accurately characterised as a filthy, decaying scoundrel. Sorry, but those are the cold, hard facts of existence. In any case, one day, David and a few of his men arrived at the location where Nabal’s men were cultivating his fields.
Read and Learn More Empowering Bible Verses For Women
David and his men were evading King Saul, as they normally did, and they requested sustenance from Nabal. Nabal essentially instructed them to disperse.
A member of Nabal’s army was aware of David’s fighting prowess and renown. Consequently, he approached Abigail, informed her that her husband had offended David and his men, and cautioned her against attempting to resolve the matter.
Abigail, who was both intelligent and attractive, promptly assembled a substantial quantity of food, mounted a donkey, and proceeded to meet David.
The food was offered to him, and she begged for absolution on behalf of her husband for his rudeness. She also requested that David refrain from retaliating against them.
David expressed his gratitude and reassured her that they would not be in danger. He also informed her that every male member of their household would have died by morning if she had not arrived.
Upon her arrival home, Abigail discovered that her husband was inebriated and had organised a banquet for all of his acquaintances.
She was aware that conversing with him in that state would be futile, so she opted to wait until the following morning, when he would be sober. Nabal suffered a heart attack and passed away a few days later after hearing David’s statement.
Abigail was actually relieved to be free of Nabal, and she became one of David’s brides shortly thereafter. Although this may appear harsh, it is a fact.
What Abigail Can Teach Us
Abigail was a remarkable woman in her era (and in ours, as well). She was prudent and proactive, in addition to being intelligent and wise. She was unafraid to take matters into her own hands when necessary…
Lesson One:
We are called to be gracious and extend hospitality to our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as those who are in need.
Abigail reached out to David and his men because
- She knew the possibility of retaliation was there and
- Because she knew being hospitable was the right thing to do.
Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins, and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.
These days it is somewhat doubtful that turning someone away will result in a war, but unfortunately, we are often suspicious of helping someone we don’t know because we have no way to know whether or not they are truly in need or simply wanting a handout.
While we have every right to be cautious these days, we also have a responsibility to be the hands and feet of Jesus. So instead of writing everyone off as lazy or fake reach out in ways that will meet needs that truly need to be met.
For example: instead of giving money to beggars on the street, give food, a pair of shoes, socks, hats/gloves, etc..
Lesson Two:
Conflict resolution skills are valuable skills.
Abigail didn’t let any grass grow under her feet when it came to smoothing things over. We shouldn’t either. When we are directly involved in a conflict or misunderstanding, we need to humble ourselves to offer a resolution whether we are at fault or not.
Notice I said, “directly involved in a conflict or misunderstanding”.
In other words, it is not your right to interject yourself and your resolution skills into everyone else’s conflicts (that’s code for don’t be a busybody). Instead, pray for resolution and that each person involved put Jesus first in their lives.
What are resolution skills? Resolution skills are:
- Forgiveness
- Owning your mistakes and participating in a situation
- Extending courtesy and modeling the same
- Going the extra mile
- Refusing to participate in arguments that are of no value or benefit
- Standing on Biblical principles unapologetically and with love
Lesson Three:
Abigail knew nothing would be gained from trying to talk to her husband when he was drunk.
He would not have been able to comprehend the severity of his actions. Instead, she waited until he was able to understand what she had to say.
The gifts of tact and good timing are invaluable when it comes to avoiding conflict and resolving it.
To Sum It All Up
Abigail took matters into her own hands when she realized her family and household were in danger.
She did what was necessary to diffuse a bad situation and bring a resolution that was most beneficial for everyone.
She teaches us that remaining calm, cool, and collected instead of fretting and taking an “oh, woe is me” attitude always brings more positive results and is more pleasing to God.