Kristensmith Taylor

Preparing For Service

I now had two things in mind. I needed to learn to live in difficult conditions and to live on less money. This would make me better able to help those among whom I lived and worked to bring the Gospel.

I soon found that I could live on much less than I had first thought possible. By eating mainly oatmeal1 and rice, I found that a very small amount of money was enough for my needs.

Biblical Principles For Preparing For Service

It was an honor to serve my real, living God in this way. For me, it was a very serious thing to think of going out to China, far away from all human help. There I had no choice but to depend on the loving God alone for protection, food, and help of every kind. I felt that my spiritual being needed to be strengthened for such a task. I always reminded myself that faith did not fail, God would not fail.

But then, what if one’s faith should prove to be too weak? I had not at that time learned that even “if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. ” (2 Timothy 2:13) I held a very serious question in my mind.

The matter was not of Him being faithful or not. I questioned whether my faith was strong enough to allow me to enter into this great work set before me. I thought that when I got out to China, I should have no claim on anyone for anything.

How To Prepare For Service In The Kingdom Of God

My only claim would be on God. Because of this, it became very important to learn, before leaving England to move man, through God, by prayer alone!” At Hull, my kind employer asked me to remind him whenever my pay became due because he was always very busy.

This I decided not to do directly, but to ask God to cause him to remember. In this way, my faith would be strengthened by answered prayer. At one time, the day came near to be paid for three month’s work. As usual, I was praying about it.

The time came, but my friend said nothing. I continued praying and days passed on, but he did not remember. At last, one Saturday night, I found myself with only one coin, one half-crown.2 Still, I had all I needed and continued praying.

That Sunday was a very happy one. As usual, my heart was full and overflowing with blessings. After the church service in the morning, my afternoons and evenings were filled with Gospel work in the lodging homes in the poorest part ofthe town. I was so happy. At times it almost seemed as if Heaven had begun in my heart. All that I could want was a larger heart to hold more happiness.

After finishing my last service at about ten o’clock that night, a poor man asked me to go and pray with his dying wife. I quickly agreed. On the way to his house, I asked him why he had not sent for the priest, as the sound of his voice told me he was from Ireland.

He advised that he had done that but the priest refused to come without being paid eighteen pence. The man’s family was starving and he had no money. At this very time, I remembered that all the money I had in the world was the half-crown coin. I had a bowl of soup at home for supper. There was enough food in the house for breakfast in the morning, but nothing for dinner tomorrow.

Preparing For Ministry And Service

At once, there was no happiness in my heart. Instead of admitting my lack of faith and refusal to obey, I began to tell the poor man that he was very wrong to have allowed things to get into such a condition.

He should have asked the government officer for help. He said he had done this and was told to come at eleven o’clock the next morning, but he was afraid that his wife might not live through the night.

“Ah,” I thought, “if only I had two shillings and a sixpence instead of this half-crown, how happy I would be to give these poor people one shilling of it!” But to part with the half-crown was far from my thoughts.

It did not come to my mind that the real truth was simply that I could trust in God and one-and-sixpence. However, I was not yet prepared to trust Him only, without any money in my pocket.

The poor man led me into a court and I followed with some fear. I had gone there before and had been given some rough treatment. My tracts were torn to pieces and I was warned not to come again. I felt more than a little concerned. Still, it was the path of duty and I followed on. He led me up to the second floor and into a very poor room.

What a terrible sight! Four of the five poor children stood about, their thin faces telling the story of low starvation. On a blanket on the floor was a poor mother, almost dead, holding a very small, newly born child, thirty-six hours old.

The child was not able to cry but only made a sad noise, for it too seemed too weak and failing. Again I thought, “If I had two shillings and a sixpence instead of half a crown, how happy f would be to give them one-and-sixpence of it!” But still, a terrible unbelief stopped me from obeying the calling in my heart to help them at the cost of all I had.

It would not seem unusual that I was unable to give hope to these poor people. I needed that myself. I began to tell them that they must not lose hope and that even if they were in great trouble, there was a kind and loving Father in Heaven.

Scriptures On Serving God And Others

But something told me that I was acting a lie by telling these unsaved people about a kind and loving Father in Heaven, and not being prepared to trust Him without half a crown!” I could hardly get my breath.

How easily I would have compromised with my conscience if I had had a florin and a sixpence! I would have given the florin thankfully and kept the rest. But I was not yet prepared to trust in God alone, without the sixpence.

Under these conditions, talking was impossible. Yet, I thought I should have no difficulty in praying. This was a happy thing for me in those days. Time spent in prayer never seemed to make me tired. It was easy to find words as I prayed. I seemed to think that I would only have to kneel and start praying and that help would come to them and me.

“You asked me to come and pray with your wife,” I said to the man, “let us pray.” And I knelt. But I had just opened my mouth to say “Our Father who art in heaven,” when my conscience said, “Will you make light of God? Will you kneel and call Him Father with that half-crown in your pocket?” Such a time of conflict came upon me as I have never felt before or since. How I got through that prayer I do not know. I cannot recall if the words I spoke were connected but I was very troubled as I got up from my knees.

The poor father turned to me and said, “You see what a terrible condition we are in. If you can help us, in God’s name, do! ” Just then the words quickly came into my mind, “Give to the one who asks you, ” (Matthew 5:42) and in the word of a King, there is power.

(Ecclesiastes 8:4) I put my hand into my pocket, slowly took out the half-crown, and gave it to the man. I told him that it might seem a small thing for me to help them, seeing that I was not in such a bad condition as they were. Yet, in parting with that coin, I was giving my all.

What I had been trying to tell him was very true – God was a Father and might be trusted. The happiness came back in a foil flood to my heart. I knew in my heart that God was pleased with me. That which stopped my spiritual happiness was gone. I hoped that it was gone forever.

Not only was the poor woman’s life saved, but I saw that my life was saved too! My Christian life and faith would have been a wreck if I had not obeyed the faithful leading of God’s Spirit. I found the grace of God to be stronger than all my problems. I remember that night very well.

As I went home, my heart was as light as my pocket. The empty streets were filled with a song of praise that I could not hold back. I thought as I ate my bowl of soup before going to bed that I would not have exchanged it for a great feast. When I knelt to pray at my bedside, I reminded the Lord of his own Word, that he who gives to the poor lends to the Lord.

I asked him not to let me lend it for long, or I would have no dinner for the next day. Having peace within and peace without, I spent a happy, restful night The next morning, the mailman was at the door before I finished eating my breakfast.

I did not usually receive letters on Monday because my family and friends did not mail letters on Saturday. And so, I was somewhat surprised when my landlady came in, holding a large letter. I looked at the letter, but could not make out the handwriting. It was not one that I could remember and the other markings were not clear.

Where it came from I could not tell. On opening the letter, I found nothing written but some fine gloves inside a piece of paper. To my great surprise, half a sovereign fell to the ground. “Praise the Lord!” I said quickly; “400 percent for twelve hours’ use.

Steps To Prepare For Christian Service

That is a good rate of interest. How happy the businessmen men Hull would be if they could lend their money at such a rate!” I decided then that the Bank of Heaven which could not break should have all of my money. This is something I have never been sorry for.

I cannot tell you how often my mind has returned to this incident. Since that time, it has been such a help to me in difficult times. If we are faithful to God in little things, we will gain training and strength that will help us in the more serious trials of life.

More Answers To Prayer

This unusual and merciful help from God was a great blessing to me, adding much strength to my faith. But ten shillings, however carefully used, will not go very far.

It was necessary to continue in prayer, asking that my employer remember the larger part of my pay which I had not yet received.

I became more serious in asking God to remind my employer that the pay was late. It was not the need for money that troubled me.

I could have had that at any time by just asking. But the big question in my mind was if could go to China or not. I was troubled that my lack of faith and power with God would prove to be so serious as to stop me from entering this great and honorable work.

As the week ended, I felt very ashamed. There was not only me to think of. On Saturday night, a payment was due to the Christian woman whose room I rented.

I knew she needed it for her living. I was troubled with the question of asking for pay so that I could give her the money I owed. Yet, by doing that, I would admit to myself that I was not able to do the work of a missionary.

When I had free time from work, I gave nearly all of Thursday and Friday to serious calling on God in prayer. But still on Saturday morning, my problem was not solved.

My serious cry was for the Lord to show it was my duty to break the silence and speak to my employer. Should I continue to wait for the Lord’s time? After much prayer, I felt that it was best to wait for His time. I was sure that God would help me in some way.

So I waited, my heart at rest. At about five o’clock that Saturday afternoon, the doctor had finished his paperwork and completed his last duties for the day.

Sitting in his big chair, he began to speak ofthe things of God. He was truly a Christian, and we had many happy spiritual visits together. I was doing a medical test and boiling a pan of water. It was very good for me to be so busy.

All at once he said, “Tell me, Taylor, is it not time for your pay again?” You can imagine my feelings! I had to swallow two or three times before I could answer.

With my eyes on the pan and my back to the doctor, I told him as quietly as I could that it was due some time ago. How thankful I felt! God had heard my prayer. He had caused my employer to remember the pay without any word from me.

He answered, “Oh, I am so sorry you did not remind me! You know how busy I am. I wish I had thought of it sooner, for only this afternoon I sent all the money to the bank. Otherwise, I would pay you at once.”

It is impossible to describe the terrible feeling caused by these unexpected words. I did not know what to do.

Just at that time, my pan boiled and I had good reason to leave the room with it. I was pleased to get away and keep out of sight until after the doctor had returned to his house. I was very thankful that he had not seen my sad feelings.

As soon as he was gone I found a place to pray and poured out my heart before the Lord. Soon, a sense of calmness, thankfulness, and happiness came back to my heart. I felt that God had His way and was not going to fail me.

I had prayed to know His will early in the day. As far as I could judge, guidance had forme to wait quietly. Now God was going to work for me in some other way.

As usual, I spent that Saturday evening alone reading the Bible and preparing to preach in the usual lodging houses6 on the next day. I waited a little longer than usual. At last, about ten o’clock, I put on my coat and was preparing to leave for home.

I was thankful to know that by the time I arrived, the landlady would already be in bed. There was certainly no help for that night. Still, God may bring help for me by Monday enabling me to pay what I owed for my room early in the week.

As I was preparing to turn off the gas light, I heard the doctor’s footsteps in the garden between his house and the office.

He was laughing to himself as he entered and asked for the record book, telling me that a very unusual thing had happened.

A rich man had just come to pay his bill. What an unusual time this was to go out to pay a bill. It did not come to my mind that it might have anything to do with my problem. It might have made me feel ashamed.

But it made me laugh to think about a man who was rolling in wealth, coming after ten o’clock at night to pay a doctor’s bill.

He could have done this easily in the morning. It seemed that somehow he could not rest with this on his mind and felt that he must come at that unusual hour to pay what he owed.

The amount was written in the record book. As he was about to leave, the doctor turned quickly and gave me some of the money. To my surprise and thankfulness, he said “By the way, Taylor, you should take this money.

I do not have any change, but I can give you the rest next week.” Again I was left – my feelings undiscovered – to praise the Lord with a happy heart that after all, I might be able to go to China. To me, the thing was not a small matter. In difficult situations, thinking of it has given me great spiritual rest and strength.

Soon, the time came for me to leave Hull and receive medical training at the London Hospital. After a short time there, I had every reason to believe that my life in China would begin. I was very happy because ofthe willingness of God to hear and answer prayer.

He showed himself more than willing to help His half-trusting and frightened child. But I felt that I could not go to China without more work in developing and testing my power to rest upon His faithfulness. Soon, a special chance was given to me.

My father had offered to pay for my stay in London. I knew that because of recent losses, it would mean a real sacrifice for him to meet this cost. This came just when it seemed necessary for me to go forward.

I had recently come to know the Committee ofthe Chinese Evangelisation Society under which I finally left for China. I met its able leader Mr. George Pearse who became my much-loved friend. He worked for the Stock Exchange.2

Not knowing of my father’s offer, the Committee was also kindly prepared to pay for my stay in London. When these offers were first made, I was not clear as to what I should do.

I wrote to my father and the Chinese Evangelisation Society leaders, advising that I would take a few days of prayer before deciding the path to follow. I told them of the offers that each had made. While waiting upon God for guidance, it became clear that it would be easy to refuse both offers.

The leaders of the society would not know that I had put myself wholly on God for my needs. At the same time, my father would think that I had accepted the other offer.

I wrote and kindly refused both, feeling that without anyone to worry about my needs, I was simply in the hands of God. I felt that the Lord knew my heart and wished to send me to China. He would bless my effort at home to depend upon Him alone.

Life In London

I must not try to tell all how the Lord was pleased to help me from time to time. To my surprise and great joy, it happened often. I soon found that it was not possible to live on as little money in London as it was in Hull.

To cut costs, a cousin and I rented one room and lived together, four miles from the hospital. In preparing my food, I tried different things. I found that eating brown bread and water would save a considerable amount of my wages.

In this way, I was able to make God’s money last as long as possible. Some of my living costs could not be reduced, but my choice of food enabled me to save some money. Each day on my long walk home from the hospital, I bought a large piece of brown bread for two pennies.

On that food and a little fruit for lunch, I walked eight or nine miles a day and was on my feet much of the time at the hospital and medical school.

By getting his half-pay monthly and sending it to her, I was able to save her the cost that the bank would charge.

I had been doing this for several months when she wrote asking that I get the next payment as early as possible, as her rent was almost due. She depended upon that amount to pay it. By working hard for a test, I was hoping to get a gift for school fees which would help me. I was unwilling to waste time by going to the city during the busiest part of the day.

I had enough of my own money to send what she needed. So, I sent it to her, planning to go later and get her money and repay myself. Before the test, the medical school was closed for a day to mark the funeral of the Duke of Wellington.

This gave me a chance to go to the office near Cheapside and collect the pay. To my unhappy surprise, the man at the office told me that he could not pay it, because the officer had run away from his ship and gone to dig for gold. “Well,” I said, “that is not good at all for me because I have already sent the money. I know his wife will have no way -to pay me back.”

The man at the office said he was sorry but could only do as he was told. There was no help for me in that direction. A little more time and prayer brought the peaceful thought to my mind that I was depending on the Lord for everything. His ways were not limited.

It was a small thing to be brought into the position of bringing my needs to Him. The happiness and peace in my heart were not troubled for very long.

Soon after this, while putting together some writing paper for school, I accidentally stuck the first finger of my right hand.

However, the pain soon went away and I forgot all about it. The next day at the hospital I continued to operate as before. A person had died of a dangerous sickness that caused high temperature. The body was more than usually offensive and dangerous.

Those who worked upon it operated with special care, knowing that the smallest cut might cost our lives. Before the morning was half over, I began to feel very tired. At about noon, I had to run out to throw up.

This was most unusual for me, as I ate little food and nothing that could make me sick. Feeling very weak for some time, I found a drink of cold water helped me to feel better, enabling me to return to work.

Yet, the sickness increased and before the afternoon class was over, I found it impossible to continue taking notes. Before long, there was severe pain in my whole arm and right side. I was becoming very sick.

Unable to continue work, I went into the operating room to close up the body I was working on and put away my tools. I advised the teacher, a skilled surgeon that I was sick but was not sure of the cause. He told me that I had cut myself. To my surprise, he said that I had caught the sickness that killed the person on which I had been operating.

I told him that I had been most careful and was very certain that I had no cut or broken skin. “Well,” he said, “you certainly must have had one.” He looked very closely at my hand but found no break in my skin.

Then, I recalled that I had stuck my finger the night before and asked if it were possible that this wound could still have been open. He confirmed that this was the probable cause ofthe trouble. He advised that I get home as fast as I could to close my business. “For,” he said, “you are a dead man.”

I was hit with a feeling of sorrow that I could not go to China. Yet, very soon came the feeling, that unless I was greatly mistaken, I had work to do in China and would not die. I talked to this medical friend, who did not believe in God or spiritual things.

I talked of happiness in the possibility of soon being with my Master. I expressed the belief that I would not die. Unless I were much mistaken, I had work to do in China and must not lose the battle.

“That is all very well,” he answered, “but you get a hansom0 and go home as fast as you can. You have no time to lose, for you will soon be unable to finish up your business.” I smiled at the idea of going home in a hansom.

By this time there was too little of my money left to allow such a thing. So, I tried to walk home. It was not long before my strength gave way and it was useless to attempt to continue. I rode on a large bus from Whitechapel Church to Farringdon Street and another from Farringdon Street toward home.

In great suffering, I reached my home near Soho Square. Immediately, I got some hot water from the servant. I was as direct as my coming death would allow. Speaking to her very strongly, I advised her to accept salvation through Jesus Christ as the gift of God.

Pouring water over my head, I cut open the finger, hoping to let out some of the poisoned blood. The pain was very severe and I passed out for some time. On waking, I found that I had been carried to bed.

I had an uncle who lived nearby. He came in and sent for his doctor, an assistant surgeon at the Westminster Hospital. I told him that medical help would be of little use to me: I did not wish to spend the money that it would cost.

He quieted me on this point, saying that he had sent for his doctor and he would pay the bill. The surgeon examined me and said, “Well, if you have been living a clean life and without rich foods, you may pull through. But if you have been going in for strong drinks and that sort of thing, there would be no chance at all for you.”

I thought that if a clean life without rich food was to do anything, few could have a better chance. Little more than bread and water had been my only food for a long time. I told him I had lived very much that way and found that it helped my study.

“But now,” he said, “you must keep up your strength, for it will be a very hard battle.” He said I needed a bottle of port wine every day and as much good meat as I could eat.

Again I smiled to myself, having no money to buy such rich food. This difficulty was met by my kind uncle who immediately sent me all that was needed.

I was in great pain but still did not want my parents to know that I was sick. Thinking and praying about it caused me to believe that I was not going to die because there truly was work for me to do in China.

If my parents came up and found me in that condition, I would lose the chance to see how God was going to work for me, now that my money had almost come to an end.

After prayer for guidance, my uncle and cousin promised not to write to them, but to let me inform them myself. I felt it was a very clear answer to prayer when they gave me this promise.

I took care to wait until the crisis was well past and the most severe part of the sickness was over. Only then did I let them know. At home, they knew that I was working hard for a test and did not wonder at my silence.

Days and nights of suffering passed slowly by. After several weeks, I was strong enough to leave my room. I learned that two men working at another hospital had died of this same kind of sickness. I had been protected in answer to prayer to work for God in China.