God’s Purifying Stream
Shame on you!”
These three simple words still ring in my ears decades after they were shouted my way.
I don’t remember the innocent adolescent behavior that led to my being scolded.
But I know I’ll never forget how I felt when one of the more rigorous older members of my church pointed her gloved finger at me and humiliated me in front of what seemed like the entire congregation.
These words of harsh judgment inflicted painful wounds. Worse yet, my pain caused me to make the following fateful pledge: I will never again tell anyone about any of my faults or failures!
From that point on, I began being less honest when I hurt someone, broke something, or fell short of a goal. I kept everything to myself and put all my energy into covering up.
Unfortunately, covering up my problems only added to my feelings of failure, inadequacy, and guilt.
It came as a great relief to read, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
At first glance, the whole process seems simple: we confess; God forgives, and everyone lives happily ever after.
But real life isn’t so clear-cut. Why does the promised freedom of forgiveness often seem elusive?
Why does guilt continue to haunt and taunt us? Why do we confess the same sins again and again only to remain entrapped by them?
Perhaps we have misunderstood what John meant about confession. Real confession is more than a hurried recitation of our flaws and failures.
It is work. It hurts. It demands self-examination. It transforms a trite utterance into a sorrowful awareness of the many ways our sinful behavior grieves the Holy Spirit.
Growing up, I felt closer to my mother than my father. Mom was firm and she taught me that my actions had consequences, but she always balanced punishment with love for me as a person.
Dad was a different story. Any wrongdoing on my part seemed to ignite his already short fuse, leading to a barrage of anger and un¬kind words that caused me to shrink in shame and fear.
God isn’t like my father. When I expose my sins to God, my confession opens up the door to his forgiveness and cleansing.
Instead of hiding my woundedness, I offer it up to him who brings the healing balm of forgiveness and purification. It is this forgiving power that can change us from within.
Father, thank you for the grace and forgiveness that motivate me to share my sins and failures with you instead of hiding them deep in my soul.